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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!  Most of us have heard that phrase many, many times.  What the phrase doesn't say is that when you don't succeed the first time, you may have to work through feelings of disappointment and possibly frustration in order to experience success.  How can we help our children understand this concept?  For the typically developing child and for the child with identified delays, continued disappointment may cause them to stop trying.  The child may not want to take risks for fear of failure, or they may want to "say anything" or "put anything on the paper" to prevent them from being vested in the final product.  One of the most valuable lessons that parents can teach children is the concept of trial and error. To be successful, children will need to understand that failure may be a necessary part of success.  When we listen to people of whom we consider to be successful, you may hear them say that the experience was "hard".  What is meant by that statement?  Maybe, they are saying that they experienced frustration, disappointment and doubt on their journey to success.  

Because of the grading system that some children are judged by in the school environment, the message of possible failure on their way to success is not valued or emphasized.  Therefore, parents and caregivers may want to expose the child to this idea, so that momentary failures don't overshadow the potential for future successes.  Below are a few suggestions that parents may want to implement at home as it relates to the child's school work and reframing of the success/failure paradigm.

• Let your child see that you are not perfect and that you may fail at a task or challenge, initially.  Talk about your experience, and how you felt about it.  Explain to them what you might try differently to change the outcome.  Show them how you persevered, even if "failing" a second and third time. They will learn how to persevere by watching you.
• Give them challenging tasks to complete at home.  You may want to have them build a model airplane or put together a doll house, complete a complex puzzle, help you bake using a complicated recipe.  These kinds of activities can be fun with a rewarding payoff at the end.  However, they may also be frustrating, requiring a certain amount of trial and error in order to be completed successfully.  Assist your child in working through this potential frustration, by helping them to think of different ways to approach the problem.  After the project has been completed, talk about the process. Discuss their feelings as they were completing the project and their feelings once the project was finished.  These are lessons that your child will be able to apply to many life situations.
• As mentioned earlier, school can be very challenging in terms of what constitutes success.  Students may be judged by letters, numbers and levels.  As the child becomes and adult, this way of looking at performance remains.  Therefore, helping your child to have a healthy relationship to assessments is key to the overall success.  Perhaps, asking the following questions 1. Did you try your best?  2. What might you try differently? 3. How can I help you?  4.  How do you feel about the evaluation?  Remind them about instances when you were not successful and how you handled it.  Remind them of times when they learned other skills that required them to work at it before reaching their goal.  Encourage them to continue and perhaps engage them in an activity that readily ensures their success to promote confidence in their overall ability. 

Children will thrive when they realize they will reap the benefits of their efforts at some level. A parent's encouraging words about what it actually means to be successful will increase their understanding and their willingness to take risks!

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For more information regarding Parent-Child interaction, specifically designed for children from birth to three years of age, please Click Here to view Lullabelle & Friends' Parent Guide: Enhancing Your Child's Speech-Language Development From Birth to Three Years and Beyond... 
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As the school year is beginning, there is still a lot of uncertainty regarding the type of academic learning that will occur.  Whether the students will be going back to school, staying home or a mixture of both, things are not going to be "back to normal." These necessary changes may generate a level of frustration that potentially the parent, child and teacher will experience.  It is my view that children will need the opportunity to talk about their feelings and concerns about all of the changes they are experiencing.  The special needs child with speech-language delays may have a more difficult time expressing what they are feeling and may need some prompting from their parents/caregivers to share their thoughts. Below are suggestions that parents might employ to create a safe environment for children to express how they are coping with the unpredictability in their lives.

• Describe to your children how you are feeling about the changes.  If they are not going back to in-school learning, talk to them about the fact that perhaps you are disappointed that they won't get to see their friends.  If they are going back, you may discuss the strong need for them stay safe by wearing their masks, and washing their hands regularly. Let them know that the teacher and school will work hard to keep them safe.  If they feel a little nervous about going back into the classroom, create an environment to encourage them to freely express their reservations. 
• You may want to check in with them daily or a few times during the week to discuss how they are feeling.  I would suggest not doing this during high stressed times, but during a time when the family is relaxed so that the setting lends itself to the child opening up about his/her thoughts.  Give the child time to think of what they want to say.  You may ask leading questions such as, "How are feeling about not seeing your friends?'  "What is it like being in your classroom?" "What do you think about the changes you see?"
• For the child who has difficulty expressing his thoughts, encourage him to draw a picture and talk about it.
• Carve out some "fun" time with your child that is not related to school work or Covid.  For example, have a dance or sing-a-thon.  Play a game of Simon Says.  Complete a  puzzle or play a fun board game.  Play a game of charades, etc.

One sure way to help kids maintain their emotional and mental health is to provide avenues for them to express their thoughts and feelings.  Although this is a challenging time, kids are resilient and will thrive with your help!

 For additional information about the upcoming school-year and the role parents and caregivers can play, click the link following: 
 https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/schools-childcare/parent-checklist.html  

For more information regarding Parent-Child interaction, specifically designed for children from birth to three years of age, please Click Here to review Lullabelle & Friends' Parent Guide: Enhancing Your Child's Speech-Language Development From Birth to Three Years and Beyond...

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